Who am I?

I feel like I'm torn in many different directions. I'm the student, the writer, the future teacher, the theater employee, a sister, a daughter, a friend, a grandaughter, a niece, a cousin, a neighbor, a ward member, a visiting teacher, a customer, etc. I have many different roles and hats to wear. At work, I'm a employee to my managers and customers, and a co-worker to my work friends. At school I'm a student, one of thousands. When I go to the mall, then I'm the customer, etc. Sometimes I don't really think past the roles to who I am as a person. I'm all those things, but I'm also so much more. These are a part of who I am, but not who I am. I'm all these things and more.

I'm grateful for my institute class I'm taking. It's helped me appreciate my role as a woman, a daughter of God, in a new way. It's helped me realize how special I am. I'm, as put by my young women's leaders and institute teacher, a princess in training. One day, if I strive to do all I can with the Lord's help and mercy, I can become a queen. I'm a daughter of God and that's who I am. I know the Lord knows me, even better than I know myself. He understands what I go through, and He's never far away. He loves me for who I am and for what I can become. He hears and answers my prayers. He helps me everyday. I'm so grateful for Him.

You can't let life get you down. I know, because I have let it sometimes. It's always better when you look at it with a positive light.

It's easy to say "I'm not of worth. Who really cares about me?" But it isn't true. Don't listen to the adversary. A lot of people care about you, and Heavenly Father and Jesus most of all. They believe in you. Let that carry you through.

Don't give up.

I'm still trying to figure out who I am, but I know the Lord will guide me if I stay on His path. I know that I'm a daughter of God with great potential. I was born in this time for a reason. That is enough to help me start to figure out my role. I'm grateful for all that I have.

Progress...

I keep wanting to work on my book more, but I have a hard time starting. Even though I haven't made a lot of progress writing lately, I still make progress everyday in my mind. Not a day goes by where I don't at least think about my story and my characters. I feel the last couple of years, that I have developed my characters and got to know them. They feel real to me. Not as real as real people, but they aren't just fictional. I'm emotionally attached to them, and I feel that that's a good step for me as an author. If they're real to me, then they will be more real to my readers. Maybe one of the reasons is because many of my characters are based off real people that I know. I'm excited for the end result someday.

I'm grateful for #3...

I wanted to do a blog post about the people in my life that I love and that have influenced me. Some of them may not even realize how much I appreciate them, but I want them to know that I do. I'm sorry if I don't tell you enough.

my parents-well, they're my parents so they do a ton of course. I'm so grateful for all they do. Thanks for all the rides and reading with me dad. And thanks for listening and giving advice mom.

my brother- thanks for making me laugh and wanting to play with me.

Kyla- for always being my true-blue friend throughout all these years.

Amber- for always being there to talk to and relate too. We're so alike it's almost like I have a twin.

Amanda- for being my college buddy. It's nice to eat lunch with you on campus. We need to do it again soon. :)

Breanna- for being a great example and a friend at institute.

Chantelle- for still being my friend even though we go to different schools. I admire your courage.

my aunts and uncles- for always making me laugh and knowing that you care. Thanks for all you do.

grandma and grandpa Walden- for still being a part of my life even though you live far away. You always make me laugh, you are great examples, and you make me want to be as active as you when I'm your age one day.

grandma and grandpa Fox- for always being there to talk to and give me a hug. I feel your love and support constantly. I admire your courage and perseverence. Thanks for all the laughs, love,  and good times. 

my Fox cousins- for being as close to me as siblings growing up. I look up to you and I am grateful for all the fun times we had and still have. Thanks to you I never was an only child.

my Walden cousins- for being there to love and support me even though we don't get to see each other as often as I would like. I'm grateful for the times I do have to get to know you better and have fun together.

Jenna- you may not know it but I look up to you immensly. Thanks for being such a great example to me in high school. I wish you luck in all you do.

Mendy- for influencing me in a way you may not fully know. Thanks for being more than a teacher, but a mentor in life. I learned much more than music from you. You made PHS choirs more than a class, but an influence for me to be a better person too.

Ms. Eggington- for making me laugh and feel loved and welcome. Thanks for taking me under your wing and being my friend as well as my teacher.

Mrs. Johnson- for really taking me under your wing when I needed it most. You gave me confidence and love. I'll never forget you and the fact that you really helped influence me to follow in your footsteps and be a teacher like you.

Ms. Bleazard- for teaching me so much in school and in life. You were always strong and had immense courage and selflessness. Your love for your students was felt. You are a great example and I miss you.

Bruce- thanks for giving us all love and a friend to talk to. We felt safe with our "grandpa" at school. I will always remember your example, selfless service, and love. You will be missed greatly.

my teachers- thanks for teaching me and caring about my success. You always helped me achieve it and I learned a lot from all of you. Thanks.

members of PHS choirs- we were like family. Thanks for your love, support, teamwork, and our success together both musically and in life. I wish you all the success in the world.

my classmates- even if you were my friend in one class sometime in my school career, I'm grateful for your friendship, smiles, compliments, help, and kindness.

my great-grandmas- I'm grateful I got to know the two of you, even if one of you I only knew very shortly. I'm a blessed girl to have known 2 of my great- grandparents while you were alive. I look forward to getting to know you better one day.

my church leaders- thanks for supporting me, loving me, guiding me, and not judging me. I look up to you and hope I can be like you.

Janette- for being a great new friend and great visiting teaching companion. We've become friends because of it and had great times together. I know it was an inspired companionship.

my visiting teaching girls- it's been great to teach you and serve you. You've served me in return. You are great examples to me. I admire your courage, strength, and your testimonies.

my kids in 1st grade- I still call you my kids, even though I only observed in your classroom for a short amount of time. I love you all so much. Your love and acceptance is overwhelming. I hope my future classes will be as good as you. I miss you already.

all the staff at grandview- it truly was a special place. A lot of that was because of you. Thanks so much for everything.

the leaders of our church- thanks for guiding us and telling us the Lord's will. Thanks for sharing His love. I will strive to follow your example and the Lord's command.

our soldiers- thanks for defending us and our freedom. I appreciate your selfless service and sacrifice. You're fighting for something worth fighting for. thanks for your courage and strength.

our missionaries- thanks for your courage to leave your home behind and share the gospel with the world. Thanks for your example and influence. thanks for helping to bring God's children to the truth.

of course, Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ- Thank you so much for everything. Thanks for all of the wonderful people in my life. Thanks for the gospel, our leaders, the church, our country, our freedom. Thanks for my family, friends, and teachers. I love you both so much. Thanks for thy spirit to comfort me and be with me.

Welcome back

Just started 2nd semester today. Just got out of astronomy. It's gonna be an interesting class. :/ We'll see, but hopefully I'll learn some interesting things. I've always liked astronomy. Well, I'll update more about it later. See ya!

I'm growing

It's sometimes easier for us to list all of our weaknesses than our strengths, but it's also more personal. Maybe I need to focus more on what I'm doing right for a change. So, I'm going to write down some things that have helped me grow throughout this last year. It has been a great year, and a year for a lot of growth for me. So many things have changed for me. I've gone through my last semester of high school, and first semester of college this year. I've started a new job, met new friends, said good-bye to old ones, and learned new things. I'll start at the beginning of 2011:

-finishing high school was rough. Not academically exactly, but emotionally. Saying good-bye is never easy. I said good-bye to class mates that I may never see again. I said good-bye to close friends I love a lot, but may go a long time without seeing. I said good-bye to great teachers. I said good-bye to seminary and my school. I said good-bye to eating in the hallways or outside with my friends everyday, singing in the auditorium, standing in long lines at lunch, my goofy English class, and chanting our graduation year during assemblies. Especially difficult for me, was saying good-bye to choir. I was dreading the moment since I grew to love it my freshman year. I was forced to say good-bye to it my graduation day, and it tore my heart to do it. But, I feel I've grown from saying good-bye and moving on. High school can't last forever (and really, thank goodness it doesn't :)),  but there were many good things about it that I still miss. I especially miss my friends, teachers, seminary, and choir. If Provo high choir could last forever, in the good moments that I remember it by, then I would be okay with that. :) But it doesn't, and it was my time to go, and I felt it. I've moved on, but a part of my heart will always belong to it.

-starting the singles ward. I was terrified, but it turned into a great experience. There are great people there, and I feel welcome. I've made great new friends. I've grown from having a calling and doing visiting teaching. It's great to realize that high school childishness (yes, I can call it that now) has pretty much disappeared. Everyone is welcoming, there aren't really any cliques, and everyone, no matter how different, can be friends. No popularity issues anymore. It's so nice!

-starting institute during the summer. I went with a friend I met in seminary and we were visibily both terrified. :) It was our first college experience and we truly felt like freshmen again. But, it turned out good, and it helped ease my transition into college life.

-starting college. One word, terrifying. At first, anyways. :) I progressively started getting used to it, and became more comfortable and confident.  It helped that it wasn't as scary or hard as I thought it was going to be. I understood things, got good grades overall, learned a ton of new things, and stepped out of my comfort zone. I've felt like my eyes have been opened greatly to new understanding and I feel I've embraced learning new things. It's been an amazing experience.

-starting my job. I feel like it's something I'm supposed to do, and it's teaching me a lot of new things. It's giving me great experience, money that I need :), and helping me grow in confidence and skills. It was scary at first, but I'm getting experienced now.

Here goes my last semester of freshman year. Weird, but good. I need another semester as a freshman, but it's nice not to be so new anymore. Now for the big decisions.

Here goes...